On the first meal of Christmas, we had an injury.
The mama cut her finger.
On the second meal of Christmas, we had an injury.
Two minor burns, and the mama cut her finger.
On the third meal of Christmas, we had an injury.
One good scalding, two minor burns, and the mama cut her finger.
On the fourth meal of Christmas, we had an injury.
Carpal tunnel flare-up, one good scalding, two minor burns, and the mama cut her finger.
On the fifth meal of Christmas, we had a good idea:
Let's order pizza!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Trinitarian Theology for Third Graders
Mimi: "Okay, wait, so they don't have different functions?"
Sarah: "No. That's Modalism. The only thing you can say about the Father that you can't say about the Son and the Spirit is that he is the Father. But they're all the Creator, they're all the Savior. All those things that they do, they all do."
M: "Okay. Okay, I think I'm getting this. So when it says that Jesus was the only one to die on the cross . . ."
S: "That's right. That's the only exception, because only the Son took on a human body that could die. So only Jesus died on the cross."
M: "Okay. So only Jesus died on the cross, but Jesus and the Father and the Spirit were all creators together--"
S: "The Son, not Jesus. Jesus hadn't been born yet. You can't call him Jesus before then. There's no Jesus in the Old Testament."
M: "Well, the Son was around, but he hadn't been revealed until the birth of Jesus."
Theo: "Mimi, you've got to get it right. They talked about the Messiah in the Old Testament, but Messiah didn't appear until God sent him to Mary, and she named him Jesus because that's what the Angel Gabriel told her to name him. So there's no Jesus in the Old Testament."
S: "Gosh, Theo, that's very accurate."
T: "It's because I have a third-grade Bible. That's why I can know so much."
Third-grade Bibles for everyone, then, shall we?
Sarah: "No. That's Modalism. The only thing you can say about the Father that you can't say about the Son and the Spirit is that he is the Father. But they're all the Creator, they're all the Savior. All those things that they do, they all do."
M: "Okay. Okay, I think I'm getting this. So when it says that Jesus was the only one to die on the cross . . ."
S: "That's right. That's the only exception, because only the Son took on a human body that could die. So only Jesus died on the cross."
M: "Okay. So only Jesus died on the cross, but Jesus and the Father and the Spirit were all creators together--"
S: "The Son, not Jesus. Jesus hadn't been born yet. You can't call him Jesus before then. There's no Jesus in the Old Testament."
M: "Well, the Son was around, but he hadn't been revealed until the birth of Jesus."
Theo: "Mimi, you've got to get it right. They talked about the Messiah in the Old Testament, but Messiah didn't appear until God sent him to Mary, and she named him Jesus because that's what the Angel Gabriel told her to name him. So there's no Jesus in the Old Testament."
S: "Gosh, Theo, that's very accurate."
T: "It's because I have a third-grade Bible. That's why I can know so much."
Third-grade Bibles for everyone, then, shall we?
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Throw-back Thursday
Something I wrote six or so years ago on my other blog seemed apt to today--Boxing Day in some places, Exchanging Unwanted Gifts Day in others. I'm sad not to be seeing Grandma Jackie for Christmas, but I'm thinking of her.
My grandmother is the queen of gift closets.
Closets.
All of her closets are stuffed to bursting, and it’s mostly with stuff for other people.
She shops daily. Well, she goes to Mass daily, and after Mass, she goes to the store. (She’s said to me a couple of times, “Sarah, I go to mass every day, and then I go shopping. It’s what keeps me alive.” I like that she knows that the Body and Blood of Christ are her daily sustenance, and I don’t think Jesus particularly minds that her Thanksgiving After the Eucharist always involves Boscov’s.)
Anyway, she shops daily (after Mass), and so if something goes on sale anywhere in the town of [Her Town], Pennsylvania, she’ll find it. And she’ll find it before you do. And if it’s a good enough sale (like, less than 10% of the original price), she’ll buy it.
She knows people who are a size 2 and people who are a size 22. She knows people who have babies and people who have teens. She knows people who need sofas and people who need reading glasses.
There is no object for sale in any store that she cannot attach to a need–real or imagined, potential or actual–of someone she knows. So, she buys it.
If you ever go to visit her, you’ll leave with gifts. She’ll say, “This is your birthday present–I’ve been saving it for you.” Even if your birthday was six months ago, and she just bought it yesterday. Or, “This is for you for Christmas–I’ll just give it to you now, though.” Even if it’s September, and you’ll see her three more times before Christmas. Or, “Here, take this and give it to your sister next time you see her.” Even if your sister was just there and got her own trunkload of gifts.
Now, she may or may not have even been thinking of you when she bought it. She probably wasn’t thinking anything other than “Three dollars!! Score!!” But if you come to her house, you won’t leave it without a gift from her closets. Because she always has something, and so she always has something to give away.
And so she always gives things away.
She’s not just the queen of gift closets. She’s the queen of giving, really.
So, it makes me happy to have a gift closet. Maybe when I’m eighty, mine will be big and filled with things I bought right after receiving my daily dose of Christ’s Body and Blood. And maybe nobody will leave my home without something I had, just for them. Maybe I’ll realize that I always have plenty, and so I always have plenty to give away.
Maybe I’ll get to be as good at giving things away as she is.
My grandmother is the queen of gift closets.
Closets.
All of her closets are stuffed to bursting, and it’s mostly with stuff for other people.
She shops daily. Well, she goes to Mass daily, and after Mass, she goes to the store. (She’s said to me a couple of times, “Sarah, I go to mass every day, and then I go shopping. It’s what keeps me alive.” I like that she knows that the Body and Blood of Christ are her daily sustenance, and I don’t think Jesus particularly minds that her Thanksgiving After the Eucharist always involves Boscov’s.)
Anyway, she shops daily (after Mass), and so if something goes on sale anywhere in the town of [Her Town], Pennsylvania, she’ll find it. And she’ll find it before you do. And if it’s a good enough sale (like, less than 10% of the original price), she’ll buy it.
She knows people who are a size 2 and people who are a size 22. She knows people who have babies and people who have teens. She knows people who need sofas and people who need reading glasses.
There is no object for sale in any store that she cannot attach to a need–real or imagined, potential or actual–of someone she knows. So, she buys it.
If you ever go to visit her, you’ll leave with gifts. She’ll say, “This is your birthday present–I’ve been saving it for you.” Even if your birthday was six months ago, and she just bought it yesterday. Or, “This is for you for Christmas–I’ll just give it to you now, though.” Even if it’s September, and you’ll see her three more times before Christmas. Or, “Here, take this and give it to your sister next time you see her.” Even if your sister was just there and got her own trunkload of gifts.
Now, she may or may not have even been thinking of you when she bought it. She probably wasn’t thinking anything other than “Three dollars!! Score!!” But if you come to her house, you won’t leave it without a gift from her closets. Because she always has something, and so she always has something to give away.
And so she always gives things away.
She’s not just the queen of gift closets. She’s the queen of giving, really.
So, it makes me happy to have a gift closet. Maybe when I’m eighty, mine will be big and filled with things I bought right after receiving my daily dose of Christ’s Body and Blood. And maybe nobody will leave my home without something I had, just for them. Maybe I’ll realize that I always have plenty, and so I always have plenty to give away.
Maybe I’ll get to be as good at giving things away as she is.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Sugar it up!
When the kids--ours and a few other people's--started to get a little energetic last night, Stephen said, "We better get them dessert."
Normally, I would question the notion that adding sugar to an already over-energized crowd of under-tens will somehow help.
But, last night, it actually did.
We decorated cupcakes for dessert.
It was fun.
There is, I suppose, a point past which a cupcake becomes un-yummy in its overdecoration.
But we didn't seem to get there last night.
Everyone enjoyed their creations.
And then they all played quietly (no, really!) for another hour.
Normally, I would question the notion that adding sugar to an already over-energized crowd of under-tens will somehow help.
But, last night, it actually did.
We decorated cupcakes for dessert.
It was fun.
There is, I suppose, a point past which a cupcake becomes un-yummy in its overdecoration.
But we didn't seem to get there last night.
Everyone enjoyed their creations.
And then they all played quietly (no, really!) for another hour.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Advent for the Little Ones
I always have grandiose plans for Advent, that always take perfect shape in my head about December 15th.
One of these years, I will remember to put those plans, and the equipment for enacting them, in an accessible place on January 6th, when all the nativity stuff comes down and is stored away until the next year.
This year, however, I managed to get out our Advent Calendar and the wire frame to our Advent wreath. Hopefully, I will be able to secure a few candles and some greenery before dinner tonight. I may even, if I am very lucky, find a copy of the Advent booklet I put together for my church last year.
If not, we will do the short, short version.
When I wrote this for the Advent booklet for my church, I said that it was "especially for use with small children or those with special needs"--that is, for the Little Ones among us.
But it's also a good Emergency Use liturgy. Because slackers, bumblers, and over-committed domestic engineers surely have special needs of their own. And they can take great comfort in the parable of the generous vineyard owner and his eleventh-hour workers.
So, if you can't manage anything else, do this with your advent wreath.
If you're behind on your wreath-making, print of 24 copies of an Advent Wreath coloring page, and every night color the right number of candles on the page at the candle-lighting part of this liturgy.
Leader: Jesus came to earth to save us. He is coming again to bring us to his home. He wants to come into our hearts every day.
[Light the correct number of advent candles: one during the first week, two during the second week, three during the third week, and four from the fourth Sunday until Christmas Day.]
Leader: This is the message we heard from Jesus and are telling you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)
[Teach the children this prayer, or say it on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves]: Dear God, send your Light, your Son, Jesus, into our hearts. Help us to follow him so that we may be your children. Amen.
[Sing the first verse of I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light, UMH 206, together.]
I want to walk as a child of the Light
I want to follow Jesus.
God set the stars to give light to the world.
The star of my life is Jesus.
In him there is no darkness at all.
The night and the day are both alike.
The Lamb is the light of the city of God.
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus.
This liturgy was composed by me for my church's use. I offer it freely for your domestic use or for publication within a (single) local church body. I would love to hear from you if you use it in this way, and your kindness in crediting me would be appreciated.
Please link back to this blog entry if you share this liturgy online.
Please contact me for permission to publish it in other contexts.
I do not own the copyright to I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light. You will need to investigate licensing that hymn if you want to include it in any sort of publication or performance.
One of these years, I will remember to put those plans, and the equipment for enacting them, in an accessible place on January 6th, when all the nativity stuff comes down and is stored away until the next year.
This year, however, I managed to get out our Advent Calendar and the wire frame to our Advent wreath. Hopefully, I will be able to secure a few candles and some greenery before dinner tonight. I may even, if I am very lucky, find a copy of the Advent booklet I put together for my church last year.
If not, we will do the short, short version.
When I wrote this for the Advent booklet for my church, I said that it was "especially for use with small children or those with special needs"--that is, for the Little Ones among us.
But it's also a good Emergency Use liturgy. Because slackers, bumblers, and over-committed domestic engineers surely have special needs of their own. And they can take great comfort in the parable of the generous vineyard owner and his eleventh-hour workers.
So, if you can't manage anything else, do this with your advent wreath.
If you're behind on your wreath-making, print of 24 copies of an Advent Wreath coloring page, and every night color the right number of candles on the page at the candle-lighting part of this liturgy.
A very, very short Advent liturgy
[Light the correct number of advent candles: one during the first week, two during the second week, three during the third week, and four from the fourth Sunday until Christmas Day.]
Leader: This is the message we heard from Jesus and are telling you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. (1 John 1:5)
[Teach the children this prayer, or say it on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves]: Dear God, send your Light, your Son, Jesus, into our hearts. Help us to follow him so that we may be your children. Amen.
[Sing the first verse of I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light, UMH 206, together.]
I want to walk as a child of the Light
I want to follow Jesus.
God set the stars to give light to the world.
The star of my life is Jesus.
In him there is no darkness at all.
The night and the day are both alike.
The Lamb is the light of the city of God.
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus.
This liturgy was composed by me for my church's use. I offer it freely for your domestic use or for publication within a (single) local church body. I would love to hear from you if you use it in this way, and your kindness in crediting me would be appreciated.
Please link back to this blog entry if you share this liturgy online.
Please contact me for permission to publish it in other contexts.
I do not own the copyright to I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light. You will need to investigate licensing that hymn if you want to include it in any sort of publication or performance.
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