Was Your Head With You All Day?

"Theo, this note says that they had to give you a free lunch because you didn't have enough lunch money.  What happened?  I sent in two dollars."
"Gosh, I don't know."
"Theo, what happened to the two dollars I sent in with you?"
"I don't know."
"Did Daddy take it out of your bookbag?"
"No."
"Did the bus driver steal your lunch money?"
:giggle: "No."
"So the money made it to school?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Theo, did the money make it to school?"
"Maybe when I gave it to the lunch lady, she looked at the two dollars and only saw one dollar and thought that I didn't have enough."
"Theo, they tend not to employ lunch ladies that can't tell the difference between one and two."
"But maybe she made some kind of mistake."
"Theo, this says they had to give you a free lunch because you didn't have enough lunch money.  What happened?"
"I think the lady just didn't . . ."
"Theo, stop blaming the lunch lady.  Did you have money when you went to lunch?"
"Um . . . I don't remember."
"Theo, did your homeroom teacher steal your lunch money?"
"Maybe when I gave it to the breakfast lady, she forgot to put it on my account and so the lunch lady didn't know about it."
"I don't understand.  It was in an envelope.  It was marked 'Theo's Lunch Money.'"
"I went to school, and I gave the money to the breakfast lady.  Maybe she just forgot to tell the lunch lady about the money."
"Theo, wait, why did you give it to the breakfast lady?  Is that what you usually do?  And she's supposed to put it on your account?"
"Um . . . yes?"
"Theo, I'm really-- THEO!!!  DID YOU SPEND YOUR LUNCH MONEY ON BREAKFAST?!?!"
"Um . . . maybe when I gave it to the breakfast lady--FOR LUNCH!!!--she only thought I was giving it to her for breakfast, and so she only put one dollar on my lunch account."
"Theo, what did you eat for breakfast?"
"Pancakes and eggs and sausage."
"Theo, did you buy breakfast at school?"
"Um . . . well . . ."
"Theo, how much is breakfast at school?"
"One dollar."
"How much is lunch?"
"Two dollars."
"How much did I give you this morning?"
"Two dollars."
"How much did you have at lunch time?"
"One dollar."
"How much did you use to buy breakfast?"
"One dollar."
"Why did you buy breakfast, Theo, when you only had enough money for lunch?"
"My friend on the BUS INVITED ME!"
"Theo, you didn't have enough money for breakfast!"
"But she asked me to go with her, and I didn't want to be rude!"
:long pause:
"What's this girl's name, Theo?"
"I don't know.  She's just my friend.  And she likes when I go with her to breakfast."
"THEO.  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GONE TO BREAKFAST?!?!"
"Six?"
:headdesk: